SITE FOR SALE:
29 December 2004 5:00 PM PST
I know you always wanted to run your own LA events site, but just never had the proper web address ... wish I could keep running this site, but I have waaay too much real work to fill what little free time I used to have. Hit that SUBMIT button over there on the right if you would like to purchase this site's URL.
HALLOWEEN:
7 November 2004 10:57 PM PST
Been a while, enjoy the pix from WeHo & Hollywood Forever Cemetery:
LESS STUFF, MORE CRAP:
12 September 2004 9:18 AM PST
Howdy folks - my consulting / marketing / promotions life just got waaaaay too busy to dash this site with observations & commentary on a regular basis, so I'll just be updating the show listings on the left under CRAP every weekend for any of you that check in on Mondays to map out your weeks.
I might throw some new pix up every now and then, but in the meantime, if you want to buy a really cool URL, click on that SUBMIT button on your right.
Now, excuse me while I go get a life and put a few miles on my mountain bike in the lovely hills of Griffith Park.
YOU'RE A REDNECK IF:
6 August 2004 7:07 AM PST
...if an ex-girlfriend appears on HBO's Taxicab Confessionals. No lie, I caught it last night for the first time. And this particular episode has been in circulation for like, 2 or 3 years! Yikes....
In unrelated news, the Repo Man 20th anniversary screening was a little less attended than I would've thought, unil I watch ed the movie and remembered just how blah it is. But boy howdy, if certain lines and scenes didn't elicit some great laughs and trigger memories from dacades passed. 
CUTE CUTE CUTE:
3 August 2004 9:07 AM PST
The new video by Kings of Convenience -- School of Rock meets ballet class. WIN REAL
Random photos of puppies and kitties taken with a wide angle lens by some japense guy. Lifted off of Ultragrrrl's site.
DIRTY SEXY HOT:
2 August 2004 11:50 AM PST
Ran down to the Vice party at the rooftop bar at The Standard downtown to see The Fever play, plus DJ sets by Elefant & Ambulance. (Before I go any further, let's all wince at the number of hipster references in that one sentence. Okay, anyway ...) arrived & left early, didn't have time to see if anyone was going to reenact any of the pictures from the last issue of Vice (strapping a chicken to your midsection, doing lines off a fellow partier's naughty bits, performing surgery on friends, etc.), although the Sparks and Virgin Colas added to the fun.
PS: Pick up the new issue of Vice, the Photo issue. Pretty gnarly stuff, even if they did have to pixelate certain parts (but the pic of grandpa is just plain WRONG.)
FALL PREVIEW:
2 August 2004 9:04 AM PST
Performing on the OC this Fall: Modest Mouse, Killers, Walkmen (info from the WSJ). And starring in Limony Snicket this Christmas -- the AFLAC duck (*perfect* synergy!).
HOLLYWOOD FOREVER:
1 August 2004 11:47 AM PST
I love it when folks start grassroots stuff that just grows into wide acceptance -- case in point: CINESPIA's biweekly film series at Hollywood Forever Cemetery. Thousands of folks show up to enjoy classic noir cinema on the lawn of the cemetery grounds behind the Paramount lot. Don't worry, it isn't on a gravesite area, and everyone is very respectful of the area. It's just amazing to hang out with friends and enjoy killer grub, and get blanket envy over some of the INSANE setups people bring. PLUS, you are guaranteed to see at least 5 people you have not seen in the past 18 months. I swear. Next up: THE STUNTMAN on August 14.
PS: Two little known facts -- Lakers Girls only make like $75 a game, and when photographed at night, trannies on rollerblades will become disoriented and spin around in a daze in the middle of the street.
OH NO SHE DI'INT:
28 July 2004 12:38 PM PST
Southern humor from a liberal friend's IM: [deposed bible-thumping Alabama Justice] roy moore was at pf changs the other night and jessica accidentally held the door for him as we were leaving -- at the top of her voice she said, "i guess 'thou shalt say thank you' is not one of the ten commandments." SNAP!
SILENT BOB SPANKS J LO:
27 July 2004 8:27 AM PST
Kevin Smith, upon accepting an "O" shaped award from Group 101 Films at last night's latest screening: "And finally, this award represents the number of times I will ever again cast a buddy's girlfriend in one of my movies. Thank you." (Sorry if you didn't get that oblique jab to Jersey Girl -- I never saw it either.)
RANDOM STUFF:
26 July 2004 9:04 PM PST
Oh, just a few things you'll see while hanging out in Beverly Hills on a Sunday afternoon ... 1. a sign to help me better communicate with the Persians (I didn't need my Southern accent anyway), 2. Hair Fairies ... The Head Lice Helpers (say WHAT?!) across the street from Toast, 3. a lovely couple walking their IV drip, 4. the spandex dancing dude across from the American Apparel shop on Robertson, and 5. that's Ianthe scoring her Kate Spade bag at last week's big benefit.
PS: Drop by FLIGHT 001 next time you hit Toast, just to spend hundreds of dollars on stuff you really don't need for that next flight (but just gotta have anyway).
'NUFF SAID:
22 July 2004 6:00 PM PST
MORE THAN YOU CAN SHAKE A STICK AT:
20 July 2004 11:20 AM PST
Go scrolling through the CRAP section to find events that are anything but -- the Juicy Coutoure Sample Sale Thursday, Laker Girl auditions AND Create: Fixate Saturday, Break the Cycle fundraiser Sunday, and Kevin Smith at Group 101 Films on Monday -- all this in addition to a TON of shows around town. Go!
VOTE JOHN FUCK'N KERRY:
18 July 2004 10:29 PM PST
Went to the $10,000 bakesale for John Kerry Saturday, passed out handmade stickers designed by my friend Mark in New York. Go to johnfucknkerry.com and download your own guerilla goods! Check back every day, since he's still adding stuff to the site.
OK GO and The Like played, and folks sold Brownies of Mass Destruction and other cleverly-named baked goods in support of a good cause. PS: I seriously feel bad for girl rockers -- while the OK GO guys were like, totally swarmed by cute little college girls and such, the girls from The Like are chased by old skeeves who have set their countdown clocks for The Like ever since the Olssen twins turned 18.
CHUCK P IS A NORMAL DUDE. KIND OF.:
15 July 2004 8:14 AM PST
Fight Club author Chuck Palahniuk (rhymes with "colonic") spoke before a screening of the movie last night -- and instead witnessing a strung-out he-man who is thisclose to od'ing, he's like, well... a clean-cut accountant who's got a great knack for weaving together stories based on his life and the life of others around him.
The secret? Muscle relaxants -- offer a couple to the person in the business class seat next to you, and they will start talking about some of the most bizarre stuff... and if you don't have a prescription, well, do like his buddies and go to open houses to snag pills from the master bathrooms of the old & rich. Plus, if you don't have the guts to take the stolen estrogen pills to see how large a man's breasts can grow, then pose as a pre-op in a chat room and you'll get more research and encouragement than you'll ever need. ("Yeah, I was getting so many 'you go, girl's that we decided that maybe Cherie should have a car accident...")
And yes, every single one of his books is in production in some form or another, including a very interesting spin on Fight Club that will take years to develop if it ever comes to fruition. But I'll leave those details to Kerry to divulge.
And oh yeah, props to the poor kid who was the first to ask a question. He stood up, posed his query with a smile on his face like he had just been hand-picked by God to supply the key of all life & wisdom, outstretching his hands for a "ta-da!" like emphasis, only to be told halfway into his question, "No wait sorry, I meant the guy behind you, in the white shirt. That is a really white shirt!"
WHY NETWORK TV SUCKS:
12 July 2004 6:22 PM PST
These network folks have got to learn to mess with the system a bit ... It's summertime folks -- nobody's watching, take a little chance. NOBODY in their right mind would want to watch four domestic sitcoms in a row (Raymond, Queens, Men / Baby, Yes Dear, Kill Me, Fuck Me, Kill Me Again, I Hate My Wife, I Hate My In-laws, Honey I Just Killed Your Mom ... alright, so I made some of those up), ESPECIALLY young men. And yet right now, I'm watching "Your Friend, Andrew WK" on MTV2, which has a normal airtime of ... Saturday night.
No wonder young men aren't watching TV - the good stuff's buried on cable! This shit's great - it's like watching a monkey fling poo for 30 minutes! Why bury this show on a third-tier cable station when the parent company could *easily* upstream it to CBS? (Come to think of it, why not just air a live monkey flinging poo for 30 minutes? hmmm.....)
TWO REASONS WHY I LOVE L.A.:
11 July 2004 10:21 PM PST
1) Shilah (see above), and 2) the fact that this woman proved, with her business partner Polly Parsons, that with enough determination and the support of thousands of friendships made over the years, you can accomplish ANYTHING in this town.
Shilah and Polly corralled Kieth Richards(!), Norah Jones(!!), John Doe, Dwight Yoakam, Lucinda WIlliams, Steve Earle, Jay Farrar (Son Volt), Raul Malo (Mavericks, my fave), Jim James (My Morning Jacket), Kathleen Edwards, Bryson & Johnny, and tons of others for two huge SoCal Musicians Assistance Program benefits in honor of Polly's late father Gram Parsons -- they turned a simple backstage promise into a full-blown EVENT in the course of two years. Not an easy undertaking *at all.* Hope them ladies are taking the week off to chill out, hope you all get a chance to see this event one day on DVD.
LOGAN'S RUN -- STILL ALIVE IN LA:
11 July 2004 9:56 PM PST
What is it with obsession over looks & youth in this town? Girls spend their teenage years hating their bodies, and then spend the next 40 years desparately trying to reclaim the body of an 18 year old. Now guys are becoming worse than girls, knocking years off their birthdays to appeal more to casting agents and talent scouts ... we just spent 30 minutes debating this with a friend at the Hollywood Farmer's Market today -- by the end of the conversation, everybody around us, even a guy hanging with Stiffler's mom (American Pie, y'all), all agreed that age doesn't matter for a guy. (Of course age doesn't matter for him -- he's banging Stiffler's mom!)
FIRST RULE OF FIGHT CLUB:
10 July 2004 6:48 PM PST
Author CHUCK PALAHNIUK breaks the first rule of Fight Club by, well ... talking about Fight Club before a screening of the 1999 classic Wednesday night at Westwood's Majestic Crest Theatre. If you don't already have passes, you'll have to duke it out with a mile-long line of social outcasts and UCLA summer schoolers for what few tix remain at the box office.
SAVE THAT LINE FOR THE HOOKERS:
9 July 2004 4:44 PM PST
Apparently mistaking 6 year old Isis D'Luciano for some whore he bagged by the same name, former LA Mayor (and present California Education Secretary) Richard Riordan tells the youngster her name means "stupid dirty girl" at a recent school visit -- what the fuck times two! First the state gov wants to kill strays virtually on sight, and now they're trash-talking kindergardeners?! Geezus, what's next -- mandatory euthanasia for anyone over 80? (Actually...)
SELMA -- IT'S THE NEW SUNSET!:
7 July 2004 11:32 PM PST
Hmm... there's just gotta a way to stop the gnarly traffic on Sunset every day & night ... anyone up for starting a campaign to divert east-west Hollywood traffic by sexying up crack alley, I mean, um, Selma Avenue? Just a thought ... now if only there were a way to sexy up The Valley so the bridge & tunnel set would cruise Ventura Blvd instead of turning the two-mile trek from The Standard to The Roxy into a three-hour ordeal...ah screw it -- I'll just walk down to Ye Rustic for a beer instead.
MAKIN' IT:
3 July 2004 6:00 PM PST
Somebody tell me how the fireworks at the Bowls and Beaches were, being stuck in non-holiday traffic is bad enough in this town ... anyway, spent Friday afternoon catching Fahrenheit 9/11at the Los Feliz 3 -- not only do I see Michael Penn & Amy Mann in the haus, I go to the bookstore next door, pick up the new copy of Entertainment Weekly with Michael Moore on the cover, and there it is -- page 10, my letter to the editors, spanking them for doing a 4-page feature on up & coming rocker ... Juliette Lewis.
I mean, puh-leeze -- why should this woman deserve a leg up over hundreds of indie bands that are far more talented? Feeling of minor victory deflated at sight of Us and People next to each other -- do you get the Britney cover with the Olsen twins subheadline, or the Olsen twins cover with the Britney subheadline? Thank you Bonnie Fuller for bringing down the nation's collective IQ another five notches.
NEW YORK ROCKS:
28 June 2004 12:44 AM PST
Damn, that town kicks my ass ... spending a week back in NYC reminds me how just incredibly bad we Angelinos are at meeting new people -- LA's a little bit too segregated for its own good, folks. Let's all love one another, just get the fuck outta my way when you see me in your rear view.
I'm beat. So, instead of jabbering about taking a business meeting on Broadway while 7000 hippies waited for Phish to crank it on top of the Letterman marquee, seeing a line that spanned from Jersey to Brooklyn wind its way around *city blocks* just to meet President Clinton, catching The Killers in a 200-capacity room, sending off our pal Andrew Hilsberg to Chicago, or how I missed shots of both Julia Roberts at Starbucks and the cop car drill in Times Square, I'll just let the pix do all the talking:
WHAT THE F**K?!:
26 June 2004 12:35 PM PST
Geez, I leave town for 6 days and that lil' byatch Schwarzenegger is trying to run the state behind my back? Dude's trying to speed up puppy killing, announced just a couple days after my post below -- I *told* you to go get a dog! Of course, the Terminator's already having to backpedal from an army of furious Crazy Cat Ladies...
ADOPT:
18 June 2004 6:30 PM PST
RUN to the LA Animal Services in Crenshaw and rescue this awesome 2 year old black & white dog I call Trouble ('cuz she is, but oh! is she just the cutest thing!), this gorgeous, well-behaved 5 year old golden lab, or this mother & son kitty team IMMEDIATELY. GO!
SCREENING / PARTY TUESDAY:
17 June 2004 2:25 PM PST
RES monthly video screening at Egyptian will spotlight work by animator Monkmus, including pieces for Badly Drawn Boy, Sesame Street (!), and Kid Koala, PLUS short films & vids for Air, Placebo, The Fever, others.
As if that weren't enough, your movie ticket also gets you into the afterparty -- I'm not allowed to spill any details, but let's just say it's worth the price of admission. Trust me on this one, folks...GO.
MACABRE, YET CUTE:
16 June 2004 10:24 AM PST
CAMILLE ROSE GARCIA opening at MK Gallery this Saturday, presented by FLAUNT.
AFTERNOON DELIGHT:
11 June 2004 9:52 AM PST
Will Farrell and his Anchorman cast give the love to one of my favorite childhood songs. So who's gonna remake "Rhinestone Cowboy" and "Pilot of the Airwaves?" (Stolen right off of Tale of Two Cities.)
REDCAP HAS THE HERPS?:
11 June 2004 9:47 AM PST
A great way to kill an hour at work -- gossiplist.com. Like a cheap hooker, this site is really old and well-worn, but it's always worth a visit once or twice a year. (ew.)
ONLY BILL:
11 June 2004 9:40 AM PST
Yes, only muthafukkin #1 soul brother BILL CLINTON could nod his head while the choir sings at a funeral as if he's jamming out to some phat Tupac beats inside his head.
PS: I am SO not amused by having to pay for the federal government to NOT work today, nor am I pleased to see our President use his eulogy to compare himself to Reagan AND to give a secret shout-out to his Skull & Bones brother William F Buckley -- obey (thanks to lil Staxx for the link!).
MAKE THAT FIVE COOL THING TO DO:
7 June 7:20 PM PST
5) This is Spinal Tap at the ArcLight June 16, with Harry Shearer as the invited guest + reception after with Amoeba DJs.
And mark your calendars for Star Trek: Contact 6/15 w/ Brannon Braga, and Robocop 6/29 w/ Peter Weller - but don't leave the house until your mom finishes dressing you.
FOUR COOL THINGS TO DO IN LA:
6 June 9:20 PM PST
1) Scissor Sisters - free - at Spaceland Monday night?
2) Los Feliz Artwalk, Saturday June 12. Tons of galleries + a $25 drunkfest, er, reception behind 4100.
3) LACMA All Night Tiki Party, Thursday June 17. Huge party, free, must pay for food & drink. RSVP at above link and arrive EARLY.
4) LA Film Fest, 6/17 - 6/26. Premieres, parties, screenings, q & a's, but no THX 1138. George Lucas is a real dick...
TIVO ALERT:
6 June 9:04 PM PST
Fox is starting to re-run ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT in its 9:30 Sunday slot. Between the finals, the Sopranos, and future episodes of Six Feet Under, do yourself a HUGE favor and start TIVO'ing this show so you have something to watch instead of Everybody Loves Raymond reruns during the week.
BRUSH WITH GREATNESS:
6 June 2004 8:54 PM PST
Today, I met a retired star of screen & film -- yes, that's former child actor BOOMER, star of many a Friskies commercial, whose visage was even emblazoned on millions of boxes the world over. Maybe one day I'll get to meet the AFLAC duck, too!
LEARNING ALL THOSE BRITNEY MOVES...
4 June 2:30 PM PST
...might finally pay off. Laker Girl Auditions July 24.
Somebody please take a camera -- not for the hot ones, but for the impossibly bad ones. I wanna see the muthafukkin' William Hung of the cheerleading world.
PUT THE BLOG DOWN. NOW.:
2 June 2004 11:09 AM PST
New rules: I think I'm only gonna update this thing once a week, so check every Monday for anything relevant. If something hits me rightnow, I'll post, but I got waaay too much stuff to do to care about posting every day -- work, exercise, hanging with friends, blah blah blah. Plus, you *really* don't want to hear me commenting on mundane crap like trying to find a barbecue grill on Memorial Day (big mistake), or how many really bad overpriced furniture stores there are in this town.
Anyway, if you're looking for Hollywood gossip, this *ain't* the place to find it. But if you want pix of senior trannies at the Dresden Room and bad lapses in home furnishings, then you've come to the right place:
You're welcome.
RETIRE THE TRUCKER HAT:
24 May 2004 1:22 PM PST
No, that's not CAT POWER, it's actually KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN's crazy way of getting "with it" on the scene with today's hip generation -- by throwing hot skanks in pseudo retro clothes that reek of summer 2002. If you haven't ditched the Dutch, here are 5 more reasons to trade in your General Lee and winged 'do for a K Car and a mullet:
I WANT *THAT* GIG:
23 May 2004 8:30 PM PST
Talk about CUSH -- I wanna be the dude who stood onstage during the Outkast performance on Letterman last week and just ate potato chips while the rest of the crew re-enacted "Roses."
MY STALKERS:
23 May 2004 8:25 PM PST
Not true, I just happen to see them more often than I see you. And they don't throw things at me when I take their picture. Above is a more subdued gals of blogland pic from another awesome Create:Fixate (in its new downtown location) + shots of an action-packed weekend below -- Shrek at the Cinerama Dome, Venice Art Walk, and dog sitting. And somebody tell me where to find the OP sunglasses below, which I did not win at the Artwalk charity auction.
PS: The bleu cheese fries at Pete'sCafe (downtown) and the hazelnut gelato at Mossimo (Venice) RULE.
SCALPER'S PARADISE:
21 May 2004 4:30 PM PST
Food for thought -- MADONNA, PRINCE, LAKERS, all in one week. You reckon Damone's making a few bucks these days?
ARTSY WEEKEND:
20 May 2004 11:15 PM PST
Not much to report here, just *slammed* with work. Treat your senses to some good times this weekend -- Create:Fixate downtown Saturday night (I know I keep repeating this, but it's a blast), Venice Art Walk Sunday. Booyah.
CONFESSIONS OF A DIRTY OLD MAN:
19 May 2004 5:30 PM PST
Make no mistake, this book ain't about CBS / Sony -- it's all about former CBS Music Chair Walter Yetnikoff. Sure, there are morsels of dirt scattered throughout -- Clive, the 60's, Bruce, Michael, Barbara, Billy Joel, and Mick Jagger all have cameos, but the star of this show is Walter 24/7, and he don't let you forget it.
It's a quick read, but unfortunately lacks details (which may have been long since erased from his drug-addled skull) about situations, circumstances, and players that make industry tell-alls so fascinating. Give the guy credit for painting a not-too-flattering portrait of himself, but save your bucks and purchase Hit Men, Off the Charts, Mansion on the Hill, Exploding, or The Operator instead.
Even better, go back to Drudge to ogle Kerry's daughter some more.
SMART MOVE -- WIN OVER THE PUSSIES THAT AREN'T PLAYING VIDEO GAMES:
18 May 2004 11:00 AM PST
Sounds like a winning formula for ABC, from today's WSJ: "Also on tap for fall is 'Life as We Know It,' a drama for teenage boys described as a male version of 'My So-Called Life.' "
Last fall's Nielsen numbers should've been a wake-up call, but judging from the upfront anouncements so far, it doesn't sound like anyone has learned a lesson (except ABC is now chasing the senior citizens CBS has been trying to dump for two decades). Shit programming aside, Hollywood Jr is gonna have to adjust to a new paradigm -- broadcast audiences are dwindling *very* quickly, and sponsors are tired of paying massive ad bucks for less reach. Don't worry about TiVo -- the smart ad money is going to niche & cable markets. And if any of you creative types out there want to follow the money, you gotta do it with less luxury and lower overhead than your well-paid predecessors, who will quickly be weeded out in the next 24 months. Just don't take the easy way out and go all-reality all the time.
Waitasec -- what does this nobody armchair quarterback know about the TV industry? Absolutely nothing -- but I've seen the largesse of the music industry decimated in the past five years, and expect the same to happen to the TV business (if it ain't already happening). Two more words of advice: 1) profits cannot exist on DVD sales & "Law & Order" spinoffs alone, and 2) if you're lean & hungry and talented, welcome aboard. If you're spoiled and just phoning it in, get the fuck outta the way.
And if anyone reading this crap happens to work in the TV biz, email me with your insights & opinions. I was weaned on bad / fun TV growing up (Happy Days, Diff'rent Strokes, etc.), but am sorely disappointed in the lack of good programming now that I've grown a little older (but not much wiser).
CREATE: FIXATE HEADS DOWNTOWN:
17 May 2004 9:15 AM PST
Saturday, May 22 -- DJs, artists, live painting, drinks, and good partying -- CREATE: FIXATE takes its monthly
happening to a new, larger space at 453 S Spring St. Been a few times, love it. More info:here.
TIM RUSSERT INTERVIEWS PALM TREE:
16 May 2004 11:20 PM PST
I know this ain't the place for political grandstanding, but Godammit, when a White House press aide tries to stifle the Secretary of State from answering a question on "Meet the Press," you just gotta ask, "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH OUR GOVERNMENT?"
Alright, now either scroll down for comic relief or go to Drudge to check out the rack on Kerry's daughter. And I repeat, buy the new David Cross CD.
VICIOUS DOG EYEBALLS FRENCH FRIES:
16 May 2004 9:40 PM PST
Now *that's* some Hollywood gossip for ya -- I'm sure there's stuff going on, something about basketball playoffs, going on to the next round ... check out the RES screening on Tuesday at the Egyptian, and look in the "crap" section for more things to do.
Enjoy the pix from various events below, and rest easy knowing that my weekend consisted of sharing air at FOUR different Larchmont Village establishments today with Soleil Moon Frye -- wow, she's tiny. And kudos to Kerry & Mo for throwing Silverlake's largest party. Ever.
And PS: why don't the cops do something about the blowjob parking lot at Griffith Park? Today was my first time biking down the hill from Griffith Observatory, and I gotta tell ya, to see that much cruising in broad daylight in a family park was kinda frickin' creepy.
RES SCREENING TUESDAY NIGHT:
14 May 2004 11:00 AM PST